The other day, at a funeral service, I watched a slideshow of the deceased in various exotic locations. When it ended, the officiant remarked that life must be lived to the fullest.

Funerals always move me and make me reflect. After this one, I wondered: am I living my life to the fullest?

In the conventional sense, this phrase usually means visiting many places, enjoying time with friends and family, having a nice house, and spending most—if not all—of your money on amazing experiences before you die. It’s the default lifestyle many aspire to.

By conventional standards, those of us who care deeply about the world’s problems - and are perhaps committed to alleviating them - may not be "living life to the fullest." As a vegan and activist, I choose not to try every food in the world and avoid experiences that involve animals. I no longer fly for vacation purposes only. With my non-profit job, I earn less than people in the corporate world. I donate part of my income and hope that when I die, something will be left for animal organizations. But most of all, people like me - I’ll refer to we and us from now on - are often tormented by what’s happening in the world and the little we can do about it. Many of us wake up and go to bed with these issues, leaving little time to think or focus on anything else in between. We might feel guilty watching Netflix.

All of this can lead conventional observers to believe that people like us can’t enjoy life.

Can caring people enjoy life on this planet?

To some extent, this is nonsense. It’s the typical you’re-a-sourpuss/killjoy criticism that people who don’t care often level at those who do. Yet truthfully, deeply caring people may indeed find it harder to enjoy life. While our happiness depends on many factors, including genetics, being constantly aware of animal suffering and environmental destruction inevitably affects our mental well-being.

That makes me wonder about the importance of personal happiness. Conventional wisdom holds that we should prioritize it above all else. Happiness serves as our fundamental measure, the baseline against which we evaluate everything in our lives. Nothing seems more important. But what if you throw helping others into the mix? Undoubtedly, the world benefits because some people prioritize that.

Still, in no way do I want to downplay the importance of self-care. Many activists could benefit from focusing more on their well-being. There are good reasons to do so. They deserve to be as happy as anyone else—perhaps even more so. Second, one can become so frustrated that it affects one’s ability to help others. If there’s a whiff of sacrifice or martyrdom in our work for the world, that’s probably not healthy.

Meaning

For some of us, the advice to focus more on ourselves may be difficult to accept. We care, we're aware, we're trying to help - sometimes against our better judgment. It's simply how we're wired. Doing otherwise seems impossible—at least in this incarnation. Fortunately, there’s an upside to this as well.

The Austrian neurologist Victor Frankl, who survived three years in a concentration camp, wrote that “life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning. The greatest task for any person is to find meaning in his or her life.”

While happiness relates to subjective well-being and positive emotions, meaning is about a sense of purpose and significance. Perhaps you share my experience: committing to a cause greater than yourself gives your life meaning. And meaning may contribute to a deeper, more sustainable happiness.

People may spend years in corporate or bureaucratic jobs before realizing something is missing from their lives (even if they find significant meaning in their children). According to psychologist Larissa Rainey, who coined the term, purpose anxiety affects almost everyone at some point in their lives. Purpose anxiety is “the stress, insecurity, fatigue, and frustration that arise from trying to define and achieve one’s life purpose,” as noted in an article on Psychology Today.

I hope, dear reader, that you are among those who have found purpose in this life, a calling that gives it meaning. When your activities, your job, your life... feel meaningful in a way you won’t fundamentally question, that is a blessing. “He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how,” wrote Friedrich Nietzsche, the philosopher best known for his nihilism.

Now let me ask you: if you have indeed found a purpose in helping others—animals perhaps, like me—do you realize what you have? Are you appreciative? Have you ever, in your physical or imaginary Gratitude Journal, written down: I am grateful that my life has meaning?

Kindle the fire

Don’t take this for granted. Our purpose, the sense of meaning in our life, may vanish one day, and it can be hard to reclaim. Purpose isn’t something one finds (in spite of the many self-help courses and rituals that promises exactly that). There’s little you can do to summon it. I’ve seen this often in others: they have everything they need, they don’t need to work. They’re healthy and have no particular worldly problems. Yet at some deep level, they are unsatisfied. I try to encourage them to start doing something for the world. But if they don’t hear the call, they don’t hear the call.

So if there’s a fire burning inside you, keep it alive at all costs. Different people have different ways to do that. Seeking the company of like-minded (and like-hearted) individuals is one option. Some need to witness the suffering they are trying to alleviate. Others can’t, and are more inspired by seeing the results of their work, for instance at an animal sanctuary. Taking time off is crucial as well (you can combine the latter two with a stay at our sanctuary, Feathery Forest).

Years ago, I went through a period of burnout, and it was depressing. So kindle the fire of meaning and purpose, to help others and yourself. Because of your sensitivity and sense of responsibility, you may not be among the happiest people in this tragic world, but through your caring and efforts, you may increase the overall happiness in it.

Thank you.